Monday, February 14, 2005

I hate Nascar and the NHL.

Quick quiz which makes me hate people more, the NHL or Nascar?

First the facts:

Natcar:
-Noone in Natcar speaks intelligible English (or anything intelligible for that matter).
-Natcar fans go to watch the danger of idiots racing next to each other and brick walls at 150 mph, and then mourn and become surprised when someone dies? If they went for the racing and not the death then they would get the same enjoyment out of watching Rascals race.
-Natcar goes in a freakin oval. They are racing to see who gets to the starting point the quickest. Here's an idea. Just stay still. You'll get to the starting point quicker, cheaper, and safer than anyone else...because you are already there!
-News Flash to Natcar fans: The civil war is over. You lost.
-Dale Ernhardt was mildly retarded.
-The fans drink Busch Light, beat their wives, and like vehicles so much that they put wheels on their homes. Whats worse is they call them "mobile homes" which implies that they will ever move out of there. Don't kid yourself, your house isn't mobile. You aren't going anywhere.
-Every racer has the same first name or last name as someone else. If I didn't know any better I'd say we had some inbreeding going on.
-I know I will not offend any nascar fans because, let's face it, I used multi-syllable words a few times in this post. (hint: "multi-syllable" is not a new type of engine, get a dictionary)

Hockey:
-the barriers to entry are self-destructive. It costs too much to play hockey...no other pro sport costs more than $10 to play.
-it is cold.
-The only way you can play ice hockey is to grow up rich, or to live in the 10% of the world that is only cold. News flash: People move to Florida and California to get away from constant ice. Its obvious that they prefer feeling the warmth in their toes over watching figure skaters with sticks do whatever they can to slam their hip into another mans pelvis.
-The players get penalized for being gay, (e.g. "holding", "too many men on the ice", "high sticking", "pushing from behind", yet get rewarded for being gay: The Lady Bing...and they have gay names, such as SirGay. Way to confuse the sexual preference out of all your players, eh?
-Gangsters hate hockey. Way to lose a demographic that wastes all their money on whatever an athlete markets. When was the last time you heard some kid say he just spend $200 on Federovs (that costs 5 bucks to make!)?
-The employees (NHL players) don't understand that they cost more than they are bringing in. Stupid.
-The athletes are entertainers. Most entertainers change their name so that people can pronounce their names. Not hockey.

So the answer to the quiz is this:
"nothing."

2 Comments:

Anonymous Da Boss said...

Totally Agree ... NASCAR is about as interesting and meaningful as Japanese Sushiball on a warm winter's night. I just don't get it. Sorta like golf - don't get that either. Ponder this: Why would president's be so attracted to events such as NASCAR and Golf? What does that say about our society?

Tue Feb 15, 03:25:00 PM EST  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I wonder who would win in a fight between Nascar's favorite rapper Bubba Sparx and the NHL's biggest goon Todd Bertuzzi. Wait a second that would be way more entertaining to watch boxing than either of those two sorry excuses for a sport. Speaking of boxing I am very disappointed that hometown boy Spinks got his lunch handed to him by Judah over Mardi Gras weekend. Spinks should have paid me to watch the fight instead of the other way around.

-Joe

Tue Feb 15, 07:49:00 PM EST  

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