A message from "Yard Gnome"

A few days ago I emailed a buddy telling him the dumbest thing I have ever heard, and how after hearing it I was dumber than I was before I heard it.

He quickly replied with the following email sent to him from a friend. please note I have changed the names to protect the innocent/guilty, and this has been posted with the Yard Gnome's (the author) permission. I generally don't post things of this nature, but its dumbfounding and entertaining!:

"Actually, there's absolutely nothing important about this email at all. I'm just bored waiting for my next class which starts in approximately 34 minutes. Also, I'm going on maybe 9 hours of sleep for the last two days and I've decided that that truly sucks. Honestly, it's not bad but I'm just saying that I'd rather not do it again. Which brings me to my next point. For all of those who are still reading this You're probably wondering what my first point was. There was no first point, I start n point two cuz that's what Chuck Norris would do.

Although Chuck Norris would probably do that simply because he is point one. I'm
thinking about eating at Chipotles after class, then taking a nap, then getting ready to go out, and finally I shall go out and drink. As Abe used to say, "Is that ok with you?" If that is not ok with you then take it up with nick at (edit)@hotmail.com

Flint's favorite thing in the whole wide world is a bouquet of daisies.

For those of you who are thinking that this is a small arrangement of my parents' dog, and clones of her, then you are wrong. Frankly, I don't know why the hell you would ever think that. It's preposterous really. Moving on, Flint likes to hang the flowers above his bed so that he can dream of daisies all night long. I know this only cuz he told it to me himself. My 20th point is this, if this moon is a sphere and is "made out of cheese" as nick claims then why isn't all cheese sold in ball form? And when will Sunshine crackers realize that they have misspelled "cheese" on
their "Cheez-its" products? Furthermore, if you are still reading this then maybe you have nothing better to do right at this moment. That's why I'm writing it, cuz I have nothing better to do at this moment.

My 7th point is this, if Star Wars happened in a galaxy far, far away in a time long, long ago then how come they never made it out here? We have no evidence that they did yet look at the amazing technology that they had. I'm throwing out the "bullshit flag" on George Lucas on this one. My disbelief can only be suspended so far.

Collin likes to sing the blues yet he is never sad.

Jason eats little children for breakfast everyday, this is why his weight stays constant.

Adam once saw someone else who looked like him and it pissed him off, since he is one of a kind, so Adam walked up to the guy to beat his ass only to realize that he was looking right into a mirror. Adam now owns said mirror and kills anyone who tries to look at themselves in it.

For anyone who has read all of this I shall give you nothing. Ah nothing, what a gift. It's almost like everything, only the exact opposite.

I hate snow. Does the snow hate me?

-Yard Gnome (gregie's edit)