An ode to my Samsung phone.

A few years back (lets just say back before Zack Morris has a cell phone) my dad started selling cell phones in Missouri. It was so large it came in a small suitcase. It has 2 features. It could receive incoming calls, and it could make outgoing calls.

Well, things have changed.

My Samsung phone has features that would make the designers of my dads' phones cry as if they had seen the Virgin Mary herself.

My phone has a digital camcorder built into it. I can take videos. 18 years ago the only way you could do that would be to spend a grand on a cheap VCR and record it on a bulky analog tape. Most ancient if you ask me.

My phone has polyphonic caller id rings. I can have the song "Pressure" by Billy Joel play when my dad calls, or the Sanford and Sons theme song play when one of my buddies calls. 18 years ago you were (maybe) just starting your CD collection. The world has evolved quite a bit down the digital music winding road.

My phone has a camera. 18 years ago you were thrilled with your poloroid camera. Wow, you could get instant pictures!

My phone has picture caller id. Caller ID? Yes its possible to know who is calling before you answer, and subsequently not answer the phone. Not only that but I can assign their picture (or video) to the caller id.

My phone has the internet. 18 years ago you were 8 years away from even hearing the words "information superhighway." Now my phone can get me any info I want...(especially by sending a text message with a question to Userid GOOGL).

My phone weighs less than 4 ounces. 18 years ago they were 4 lbs and in a suitcase.

My phone has voice mail. Imagine, an answering machine without tape!!!!

My phone has vibrate ring. Imagine, not hearing an annoying beeping sound (see the pagers that doctors and others in pharmaceutical field had 18 years ago).

My phone has an address book. Remember when you used to have to memorize your girlfriends'/boyfriends' number? Or write down peoples phone numbers. Remember how you used to only write 7 digits, because long distance cost money back then so you only called local people instead of entering all 10 digits into your phone now-a-days.

My phone has the ability and desire to turn itself off! What?! Now this is something my dads' phones never had! 18 years later and they still can't find a way to make my phone stay on! Hell sometimes it doesn't even ring (granted noone calls it), but still it only vibrates instead of rings sometimes. You couldn't pay enough for this feature! It is truely a lifesaver (read that as anger/sarcasm). They can put a camcorder, world time, internet, camera, calendar, address book, polyphonic rings, etc, but they can't get the phone to ring out loud, or stay on!

Samsung. I hate you.