Depression

Well this post will be a tad bit depressing. I wrote this like 4 years ago in an email to a friend.

Such a lovely day it tis outside. Took half of four hours to arrive at work, as opposed to the usual 20 minutes. The day is splendidly magnificent. Grayness around, simply surrounds my sight. Snow, endless
dull drabness. Slow moving people, slower moving cars. Out my window is depression, sickness, snow. The UPS man is freezing, he gets his blue collar wet on the drying snow that drips off the overhang on the rear of his truck. Cold winds, colder hearts, ego mongers selling their souls to whoever is buying, forever trying to fill the void that they have created for themselves. Depression is beauty. Sadness is
life...life slowed down to an observable pace.

People need and like depression, it is strangely addicting. Today is wonderful, addictions being filled, prescriptions being spilled. Look out your window, pure happiness, everyone is sad. By being
sad, they are all happy. Everything moves slower days like today....Depression is reality slowed down to an observable pace...sometimes life moves too fast for us to see just how horrid it is...that's why we need these gray days...so we can look inside ourselves, and see the things that we shouldn't see.

With Depression is a strange nostalgia. People put themselves in depressions, they leave themselves in depressions, they get themselves out when they want to. People take depressants. People love alcohol, the cheapest depressant. There is some strange need for people to be thrust into depressions. It can also be a status symbol...even when people are not depressed they feel a need to tell people they are...they don't know what its like to really be depressed...they are simply sad. Just like insomnia,
everyone whines about how little sleep they get...EVERYONE...(but you)...they have no idea what insomnia is really like, none...Fight Club is but a window to insomnia. People need the attention that is associated with such states of mind...it's the easiest attention to get, sympathy.

Life is the worst punishment that one can be given. There is no happiness, there is only depression, rejection, lies, repression, and unreality. Noone knows reality, we are programmed not to...life is torture...the only thing we can do is fake ourselves through life.